"How can wounds so deep and secret ever be healed?
You must first know who you really are. As a human, you are created in the image of God, and there are multiple dimensions of you."
This is an excerpt from the first chapter, this book has already got me ballin, but if this is what it takes to finally uproot and destroy the strongholds, and captivities I have let over take my life, then I am thankful for finding this book to help me not only lose weight but to be delivered from the roots of this physical captivity that have built over my lifetime. 2013 is not over by a long shot, and I am thrilled to have Jesus leading me every way.
Currently I am listening to Kim Walker's Spirit Break Out on repeat.....very fitting and she is truly annointed
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3XD4WVJzM
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
a lil reminder
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
-Slow Fade by Casting Crowns
lately ive been slowly letting go of so much in my life, yet while letting go taking control away from the one who put me here....only to fall short once again because I want to do things my way or not at all, which ive done nothing at all because things werent going my way.....this past wk or two have been very humbling as Ive watched things die out and things ive worked so hard for slip from my hands but also regained so much of what I needed...a solid discipline and knowing that if I would just let it go He will take it all....u think one would be eager to let go of a lifetime of pain and hurt....yet not so much there seems to be a great comfort in misery and living in the past....i have not been put here though to be fake or putting on some facade (huh just learned how to spell that right now...lol) ive been keeping all these motivating posts on facebook especially from the I am second, yet on my own have been a bum....its also a mix of emotions and hormones which makes for a hell of a cocktail that i would not recommend to anyone lol....its just like im on this playground watching what could be but not knowing how to get there....the only solution ive got is prayer which is mighty but also needs to be coupled with faith, trust and actions.....ive been blessed to now be a part of a campus ministry and finally this wk when i was able to be there i truly felt a deeper love for God, and finally excited about serving and maybe on the brink of knowing a bit of my purpose....while the rest of my life scatters i have been finding hope in knowing that regardless of the past or the current state of my mind that He truly does have a plan and its really not for me to know but to take the journey to complete it as He lays the steps to take me from A to Z, and to submit and humble myself for He is my God and the one who has placed many things in me and I have asked much of Him but must be willing to do the work for those things idk that any of this is makin sense as im ramblin after cleaning my bathroom and takin in too many fumes lol....well till next time for those who are reading and praying, I am asking for your prayers to refocus this journey and the desire to continue...thanks! God Bless
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
-Slow Fade by Casting Crowns
lately ive been slowly letting go of so much in my life, yet while letting go taking control away from the one who put me here....only to fall short once again because I want to do things my way or not at all, which ive done nothing at all because things werent going my way.....this past wk or two have been very humbling as Ive watched things die out and things ive worked so hard for slip from my hands but also regained so much of what I needed...a solid discipline and knowing that if I would just let it go He will take it all....u think one would be eager to let go of a lifetime of pain and hurt....yet not so much there seems to be a great comfort in misery and living in the past....i have not been put here though to be fake or putting on some facade (huh just learned how to spell that right now...lol) ive been keeping all these motivating posts on facebook especially from the I am second, yet on my own have been a bum....its also a mix of emotions and hormones which makes for a hell of a cocktail that i would not recommend to anyone lol....its just like im on this playground watching what could be but not knowing how to get there....the only solution ive got is prayer which is mighty but also needs to be coupled with faith, trust and actions.....ive been blessed to now be a part of a campus ministry and finally this wk when i was able to be there i truly felt a deeper love for God, and finally excited about serving and maybe on the brink of knowing a bit of my purpose....while the rest of my life scatters i have been finding hope in knowing that regardless of the past or the current state of my mind that He truly does have a plan and its really not for me to know but to take the journey to complete it as He lays the steps to take me from A to Z, and to submit and humble myself for He is my God and the one who has placed many things in me and I have asked much of Him but must be willing to do the work for those things idk that any of this is makin sense as im ramblin after cleaning my bathroom and takin in too many fumes lol....well till next time for those who are reading and praying, I am asking for your prayers to refocus this journey and the desire to continue...thanks! God Bless
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Steppin out of the box (pt 1)
So I have been losing weight slowly each week but its really got to get a move on...however...I am the only who can change that. I keep waiting for an email for the next casting of biggest loser, lol....i just want to be able to disappear to do this journey or at least the first few legs to get me routined up and on my way. However I really have been working on taking time out to be more quiet and not speaking on things unless I am willing to make good on them...a lesson I should have learned long ago. One of my latest new things was I finally got the balls to record my first "message" lol....its on my phone and really short but normally i just write down some thoughts on random papers because it would be to convenient to put them in a journal LOL....but now i have one on my phone and i played it back...wow...rough is the word that came to mind but i was proud that i have started so one day maybe i will be up doin a conference with Joyce Meyers herself or just yappin to whoever will listen to me LOL.....
I am encouraged though to really get into some new ways of working out, i tried the group power and group groove classes...i really enjoyed them...especially the groove as i used to be a Zumba instructor and need to do that again as well as gettin into hip hop...i cant wait for the day my vision ive had of me in a studio rehearsin hip hop comes to pass....maybe one day it will be to one of the beats i will make who know...there is no limit to what can happen in my life with Christ by my side.....
feeling good today, I am getting ready to make a visit back home to see my fam....especially my sis she is like my other half.....I thank God for her, God has really blessed me in my life in many ways but one of the best ones has been her.....she never ceases to amaze me in her love, support, realism (balloon popper sometimes though) but just her unconditional care....next to Jesus she is the best thing I got goin on and I know she is a tru gift from God because people can really suck sometimes even those u call friends or family but to know you have God and then He gives you that one who no matter what will be there....or until He send my husband, lol and then i will have two lol
anways this message was supposed to be about stepping out of the box......it was part of the message I was blessed to listen to Sunday at Latter Rain Ministries....more to come on that later when i have my notes in front of me lol
I am encouraged though to really get into some new ways of working out, i tried the group power and group groove classes...i really enjoyed them...especially the groove as i used to be a Zumba instructor and need to do that again as well as gettin into hip hop...i cant wait for the day my vision ive had of me in a studio rehearsin hip hop comes to pass....maybe one day it will be to one of the beats i will make who know...there is no limit to what can happen in my life with Christ by my side.....
feeling good today, I am getting ready to make a visit back home to see my fam....especially my sis she is like my other half.....I thank God for her, God has really blessed me in my life in many ways but one of the best ones has been her.....she never ceases to amaze me in her love, support, realism (balloon popper sometimes though) but just her unconditional care....next to Jesus she is the best thing I got goin on and I know she is a tru gift from God because people can really suck sometimes even those u call friends or family but to know you have God and then He gives you that one who no matter what will be there....or until He send my husband, lol and then i will have two lol
anways this message was supposed to be about stepping out of the box......it was part of the message I was blessed to listen to Sunday at Latter Rain Ministries....more to come on that later when i have my notes in front of me lol
Thursday, April 18, 2013
The horse and mule, tryin to be a sheep
I was at bible study last night at my church, and for one just getting there was such a fight in myself....and now I know why...oh do i know lol
The message was about how we are called to be like sheep when many of us can be horses or mules....sheep in the sense of flocking together, meek, obedient, and being lead by the Shepard (God)....while we can be like a horse, wild, untamed, needing measures to make obedient such as bridle and bit...being independent.....and a mule...just stubborn, wont make a move unless it wants to....well the horse and mule LOL are very much how I can be used to be all the time, and last night I thank God for leaders who are sheep led by Him and only Him. I received prayer...i received correction from God through my leaders, and most of all i got my restoration, i had my eyes propped back open last night to God not Angela.....
I have become very shut down again, negative, stubborn, doing what I wanted and what made me feel fine or COMFORTABLE, which is alone, unhappy and just in my world of pity and doubt.....well praise JESUS He showed me once again....that I need to stop wrestling with Him and just let it go....bind it up, let Him have it and let it go, submit, humble, and trust in Him as He has shown Himself in my life and blessed me and I have done nothing but be ungrateful, and doubting to let Him have it all....
I have really gone back and forth in life so many times and I am praying I hold on to this moment as a check point of deliverance, restoration and the peace and joy that I had and let go....let me die daily to be the flesh so I may be Christlike and fulfill what God has placed me in this time for.....
This journey to sozo is bigger than I could have imagined when I named it, and thought this was just another journey of getting healthy....it is but not just physically....the inside is being cleaned out, disinfected, and made new and its really bringing out so much of what was painted over and over to be covered up but never rid of the first time thru.....as much as it is a pain, hurt, hard and just unbearable to me I know God will bring me out, mold me and heal me, love me and just nurture me to where I am to be....if I LET HIM...and that I intend to do.....this year is almost half way over and I have not really done any of what I have had planned because I have not believed in God or myself to get me thru the hard times, I have retreated into old ways that felt comfortable...well its time to put all these things into actions.....talk is cheap and really its not even cheap its free its the action that can be cheap or expensive....i want my actions to become un-affordable to all but God
The message was about how we are called to be like sheep when many of us can be horses or mules....sheep in the sense of flocking together, meek, obedient, and being lead by the Shepard (God)....while we can be like a horse, wild, untamed, needing measures to make obedient such as bridle and bit...being independent.....and a mule...just stubborn, wont make a move unless it wants to....well the horse and mule LOL are very much how I can be used to be all the time, and last night I thank God for leaders who are sheep led by Him and only Him. I received prayer...i received correction from God through my leaders, and most of all i got my restoration, i had my eyes propped back open last night to God not Angela.....
I have become very shut down again, negative, stubborn, doing what I wanted and what made me feel fine or COMFORTABLE, which is alone, unhappy and just in my world of pity and doubt.....well praise JESUS He showed me once again....that I need to stop wrestling with Him and just let it go....bind it up, let Him have it and let it go, submit, humble, and trust in Him as He has shown Himself in my life and blessed me and I have done nothing but be ungrateful, and doubting to let Him have it all....
I have really gone back and forth in life so many times and I am praying I hold on to this moment as a check point of deliverance, restoration and the peace and joy that I had and let go....let me die daily to be the flesh so I may be Christlike and fulfill what God has placed me in this time for.....
This journey to sozo is bigger than I could have imagined when I named it, and thought this was just another journey of getting healthy....it is but not just physically....the inside is being cleaned out, disinfected, and made new and its really bringing out so much of what was painted over and over to be covered up but never rid of the first time thru.....as much as it is a pain, hurt, hard and just unbearable to me I know God will bring me out, mold me and heal me, love me and just nurture me to where I am to be....if I LET HIM...and that I intend to do.....this year is almost half way over and I have not really done any of what I have had planned because I have not believed in God or myself to get me thru the hard times, I have retreated into old ways that felt comfortable...well its time to put all these things into actions.....talk is cheap and really its not even cheap its free its the action that can be cheap or expensive....i want my actions to become un-affordable to all but God
.....
This video was such a relation for me, the numerous times I asked God to let me be done with life, not wanting to spend another moment in my mind with my thoughts facing emptiness, guilt, shame and so much more and this video couldnt have been placed at better moment in my life, thank you Jesus for keeping me, correcting me, helping me, and truly loving me when I have repeatedly gone my own way and not trusted You when You have repeatedly shown up and out in my life.
For those who take the few minutes to watch this video, I pray it moves in you and let God speak thru this mans life into yours.
http://www.iamsecond.com/
1 Thessalonians 3:1-3 (NIV)
3 So when we could stand it no longer, we thought it best to be left by ourselves in Athens. 2 We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them.
For those who take the few minutes to watch this video, I pray it moves in you and let God speak thru this mans life into yours.
http://www.iamsecond.com/
1 Thessalonians 3:1-3 (NIV)
3 So when we could stand it no longer, we thought it best to be left by ourselves in Athens. 2 We sent Timothy, who is our brother and co-worker in God’s service in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3 so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. For you know quite well that we are destined for them.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Sobriety
John 15:12 (NIV)
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
Praise the Lord for sobriety and all it has given this man, and can give anyone. I have 3 years in my sobriety and I thank God for it daily, and as I continue to seek Him in deliverance for my other areas I stand firm in knowing He will bring me out of the addictions, strongholds, and battles to be a living testimony of His glorious wonder. He loves YOU, more than ANYONE or ANYTHING can give or make you feel love.
http://www.iamsecond.com/challenges/22day/22day2/
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
Praise the Lord for sobriety and all it has given this man, and can give anyone. I have 3 years in my sobriety and I thank God for it daily, and as I continue to seek Him in deliverance for my other areas I stand firm in knowing He will bring me out of the addictions, strongholds, and battles to be a living testimony of His glorious wonder. He loves YOU, more than ANYONE or ANYTHING can give or make you feel love.
http://www.iamsecond.com/challenges/22day/22day2/
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
Trekkin on to Sozo
So it has been a minute since I have really spent sometime writing about the weight loss.....which is really the only reason those who are reading this were turned onto this blog, however while I will be documenting that this blog is about SOZO,
" “To Save, Heal and Deliver.” When you combine Sozo with Sōtēria, which is the Greek word for Salvation you get the complete meaning. Simply putting these words together you are able to get the whole picture. To be “Saved” means to be saved, healed, delivered, preserved, protected, to make prosperous and to make whole. The word “whole” means to restore, or that nothing is missing and nothing is broken"
So while my weight is coming off, I am still in the process of LIFE! And all that comes with it, I have struggled with the emotional and physical. Finances are huge hindrance as well and sometimes I can only imagine how great it would be to get to be on the biggest loser and just disappear from 'life' and solely focus my weight loss and the mental battles that has caused so much of the weight in myself....however my reality is not that I am trying to juggle working jobS, my emotions, working out, eating clean, ministry, my relationship with Christ and its NEEDED growth and maturity, debt beyond, addictions and breaking them and being delivered to so much of what has caused my weight and debt and emotional healing for myself and my current and future relationships on top of my overwhelming passion for life and my vision and global businesses that I plan to see into fruition but have not a clue how to get there when it takes money to make money....all this can be overwhelming for me anyways and honestly its sad to say i have more of the overwhelming than the one day at a time days...however this life is not one i want to squander a moment more and after having a few more pity parties for myself the last few days i think the cold water has finally gotten in my face and i am awake....i dont want to miss another moment walking in this life with my eyes wide shut......so i am taking responsibility for my actions that have put me in the circumstances i am in, taking my life back, and letting God lead the way because as i continue to push him out and ask him back i just am wasting time God is not a yo-yo...he is a rock and i need just stand on that rock and let Him bring me through....what doesnt kill you makes you stronger and Jer 29:11....as simple as it is...still lights up my brain everytime i here is...Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I will be weighing in friday and working harder to keep that part of the blog going as it is one of the main reasons for its being but I just want ya'll to understand the concept of Sozo and the journey I am embarking on and hoping you join me to your Sozo and whatever that means and takes for you!
" “To Save, Heal and Deliver.” When you combine Sozo with Sōtēria, which is the Greek word for Salvation you get the complete meaning. Simply putting these words together you are able to get the whole picture. To be “Saved” means to be saved, healed, delivered, preserved, protected, to make prosperous and to make whole. The word “whole” means to restore, or that nothing is missing and nothing is broken"
So while my weight is coming off, I am still in the process of LIFE! And all that comes with it, I have struggled with the emotional and physical. Finances are huge hindrance as well and sometimes I can only imagine how great it would be to get to be on the biggest loser and just disappear from 'life' and solely focus my weight loss and the mental battles that has caused so much of the weight in myself....however my reality is not that I am trying to juggle working jobS, my emotions, working out, eating clean, ministry, my relationship with Christ and its NEEDED growth and maturity, debt beyond, addictions and breaking them and being delivered to so much of what has caused my weight and debt and emotional healing for myself and my current and future relationships on top of my overwhelming passion for life and my vision and global businesses that I plan to see into fruition but have not a clue how to get there when it takes money to make money....all this can be overwhelming for me anyways and honestly its sad to say i have more of the overwhelming than the one day at a time days...however this life is not one i want to squander a moment more and after having a few more pity parties for myself the last few days i think the cold water has finally gotten in my face and i am awake....i dont want to miss another moment walking in this life with my eyes wide shut......so i am taking responsibility for my actions that have put me in the circumstances i am in, taking my life back, and letting God lead the way because as i continue to push him out and ask him back i just am wasting time God is not a yo-yo...he is a rock and i need just stand on that rock and let Him bring me through....what doesnt kill you makes you stronger and Jer 29:11....as simple as it is...still lights up my brain everytime i here is...Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
I will be weighing in friday and working harder to keep that part of the blog going as it is one of the main reasons for its being but I just want ya'll to understand the concept of Sozo and the journey I am embarking on and hoping you join me to your Sozo and whatever that means and takes for you!
Minister Bowman and his race
If you can, support this truly annointed Man of God, Richard Bowman to be able to continue his work in the nations! This brother in the Lord has become an inspiration in my walk, and he is out there bringing the Gospel to many who have never heard the name Jesus in places we would we would be terrified to go. So if this touches your heart and you are able to help him that would be great!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=APE9pUfsZCo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=APE9pUfsZCo
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Any one who has or is struggling with addiction IN ANY FORM I encourage you to watch this video, I may have never done drugs but I have and still do struggle with various addictions that this video spoke to me in its own way and I encourage you to take a chance and watch and see what it will do for you
http://www.iamsecond.com/
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Any one who has or is struggling with addiction IN ANY FORM I encourage you to watch this video, I may have never done drugs but I have and still do struggle with various addictions that this video spoke to me in its own way and I encourage you to take a chance and watch and see what it will do for you
http://www.iamsecond.com/
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
What is your struggle?
I am second, is a movement I just found out about today!
They have struggles listed....find the one or more you share in and watch the videos and let God move in you to help, heal, and love you as He created you to be!
http://www.iamsecond.com/struggles/eating/
They have struggles listed....find the one or more you share in and watch the videos and let God move in you to help, heal, and love you as He created you to be!
Is food your struggle?
It’s meant to give us strength and happiness but food so often becomes an enemy we battle. It wears on our health and relationships, our self-esteem and self-worth. Learn from those who have turned this enemy into an ally.
http://www.iamsecond.com/struggles/eating/
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